You’re calling me a Gastro-whatnow?

I generally hate labels and their defining characteristics. I’ve been called four eyes as a child (although now that glasses are “in” – can I get those years of abuse back?), a nerd, geek or even lovingly a “lard ass” by a family member (granted – technically I’m considered “obese” since I weigh more than the ghastly thin FDA guidelines on what my body weight should be — being around food all day certainly doesn’t help). And I certainly don’t like being called a Foodie.

A Food LOVER? Yes.

Food Enthusiast? Perhaps.

But Foodie I’m not so keen on, but that’s a convo for another day.

Well, lo and behold now there’s yet another term to “define me” – Gastrosexual.

First off Gastro and Sexual don’t exactly belong in the same sentence if you ask me. But according to a new study recently released from the UK (from the PurAsia/The Future Foundation, the geniuses behind the term Gastrosexual) coined it to describe:

 “masculine, upwardly mobile men, aged 25-44, who are passionate about cooking and the rewards that itmight bring – pleasure, praise and potential seduction.”

In some ways I guess I do fit the “Gastrosexual” mold:

  • I’m a male
  • I’m in the middle of the described age range
  • I love to cook
  • I like praise about my cooking (who doesn’t?)
  • I like to bring pleasure through my food
  • On occasion I have resorted to a home cooked meal to ‘woo’ a lady in my life
  • Masculine? Debatable (what’s the gym look like again?)

But mostly I cook because I enjoy eating. Being in the kitchen is therapeutic to me. It gives me a sense of purpose. I embrace the challenge and the chaos, whether it’s cooking for one, two, ten or a thousand. I thrive at trying to meet the challenge, whether it’s poaching an egg, roasting a turkey or working a grill as a short order cook to feed hungry college kids at 3am.

And now that the male in the kitchen is idolized and revered for his skill and passion (Batali, Flay, Oliver, Bourdain, Emeril, Ramsey, just to name a few) it gives me a sense of pride to throw on that apron and finely julienne some vegetables without slicing a finger off.

However just because I meet about 90% of their criteria doesn’t mean I would enjoy being called a Gastrosexual. I have to think most men would have my back on that one. Especially since Gastrosexual doesn’t exactly conjure up visions of a manly man does it?

Close your eyes and tell me what you see when you hear that word. The stereotypical vision of a bad-ass-chef with tattoos and scars? Or a perfectly coiffed, clean cut, checkered shirt wearing noveau cuisine mastermind.

tatted chef

The tatted chef always gets the girl





And since if you polled most women, they’d still secretly prefer the man’s man over the pretend man’s man, I can’t wait to see how this plays out with the ladies.

Food loving dude: “Hey, would love to have you come over for dinner one night”

Food loving dude’s prospective Date: “Ooh sorry I can’t go out with you…you’re …well…a Gastrosexual. I only date Foodies. ”

Call me a carnivore. Call me a fatass. But please don’t call me a Gastrosexual.

Now…where did I put my designer silk apron?


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